(Sourec.google.com.pk)
Funny Jokes About Women Biography
Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Königsberg on December 1, 1935) is an American film director, writer, musician, actor and comedian.
Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
What's New, Pussycat? (1965)
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.
Take the Money and Run (1969)
Allen: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Woman: Yes, it is.
Allen: What does it say to you?
Woman: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.
Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman: Committing suicide.
Allen: What about Friday night?
Play It Again, Sam (1972)
On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
The earliest source located is here, in the sidebar "Quotations According to Woody Allen" which appeared alongside the New York Times article "Everything You Wanted to Know About Woody Allen at 40" by Mel Gusso, 1 December 1975. Full text also available in Lakeland Ledger, 25 December 1975 on google news.
Unsourced variant: "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Stardust Memories (1980)
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all.
Quoted by Douglas Brode in Woody Allen – His Films and Career (1985)
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Radio Days (1987)
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
September (1987)
Change is death.
Husbands and Wives
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.
The Woody Allen Companion (1993) edited by StephenJ. Spignesi, Ch. 7
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
The Illustrated Woody Allen Reader (1993)
The joke about immortality also appears in On Being Funny (1975)
In an interview in Rolling Stone magazine from April 9, 1987, Allen said "Someone once asked me if my dream was to live on in the hearts of people, and I said I would prefer to live on in my apartment."
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
As quoted in Love, Sex, Death & The Meaning of Life : The Films of Woody Allen (2001) by Foster Hirsch, p. 50
We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from — I don't remember exactly. I think it's the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that's where it's from.
Small Time Crooks (2001)
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
As a filmmaker, I'm not interested in 9/11 [...] it's too small, history overwhelms it. The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other. Political questions, if you go back thousands of years, are ephemeral, not important. History is the same thing over and over again.
.jpg)
Funny Jokes About Women Biography
Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Königsberg on December 1, 1935) is an American film director, writer, musician, actor and comedian.
Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
What's New, Pussycat? (1965)
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.
Take the Money and Run (1969)
Allen: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Woman: Yes, it is.
Allen: What does it say to you?
Woman: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.
Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman: Committing suicide.
Allen: What about Friday night?
Play It Again, Sam (1972)
On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
The earliest source located is here, in the sidebar "Quotations According to Woody Allen" which appeared alongside the New York Times article "Everything You Wanted to Know About Woody Allen at 40" by Mel Gusso, 1 December 1975. Full text also available in Lakeland Ledger, 25 December 1975 on google news.
Unsourced variant: "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.
Also found in "Quotations According to Woody Allen" from the New York Times, 1 December 1975.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Stardust Memories (1980)
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all.
Quoted by Douglas Brode in Woody Allen – His Films and Career (1985)
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Radio Days (1987)
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
September (1987)
Change is death.
Husbands and Wives
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.
The Woody Allen Companion (1993) edited by StephenJ. Spignesi, Ch. 7
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
The Illustrated Woody Allen Reader (1993)
The joke about immortality also appears in On Being Funny (1975)
In an interview in Rolling Stone magazine from April 9, 1987, Allen said "Someone once asked me if my dream was to live on in the hearts of people, and I said I would prefer to live on in my apartment."
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
As quoted in Love, Sex, Death & The Meaning of Life : The Films of Woody Allen (2001) by Foster Hirsch, p. 50
We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from — I don't remember exactly. I think it's the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that's where it's from.
Small Time Crooks (2001)
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
As a filmmaker, I'm not interested in 9/11 [...] it's too small, history overwhelms it. The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other. Political questions, if you go back thousands of years, are ephemeral, not important. History is the same thing over and over again.
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
Funny Jokes About Women Pictures Pics Images Photos 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment